If it's so unspeakable, then why can't I stop wanting to talk about it...
Sound familiar? Life just handed you some serious poop and while you feel like you just got outfitted with a pair of cement shoes, everyone else is walking around just fine. And even worse, they want you to be fine. They ask how you are, but you can tell they don't want the honest answer. So you guessed it, "I'm fine" comes out. Is time and understanding too much to ask for? Spoiler Alert: nope, it's not!
I'm on a mission to spread hope and empathy. Could it get awkward? Probably. Is that okay? Bring it.
I'm Laura — an author, an oversharer and an empathy lover. I want to send some smiles your way when you need them the most.
Grief and loss can feel impossible. You instantly question how you're ever going to get through it. Another spoiler - you already are. So cut yourself some slack (please).
Maybe the universe didn't want me to be happy? Maybe this was God's way of telling me I wasn't supposed to be a mom? Maybe this was my time to make drastic changes in my life?
I had so many questions and no answers. Thank you grief.
Over time I have experienced moments and have formed friendships that have helped me to discover who I am as Chase's mom, as mom to his two younger siblings and as Laura, the human being. I'm extremely candid about my early stages of grief in my memoir, Wishing on Rainbows.
Perspective exists in large part because grief exists.
My greatest losses in life have given way to my greatest strengths (and yes, in my early stages of grief I would have hated this sentence too).
I was in a fog of grief... i was crying on good days and angry on bad days... and I'd lost my purpose .
When my oldest son, Chase, passed away suddenly at six months old, I didn't know how I was going to get through it...
Do you ever feel like people are worried you'll rub your sadness on them?
How do you share that you're not a sad person, you've just been through some really sad stuff?
I've always been a people pleaser and this time in my life was no exception. It felt like a full time job trying to put on a brave face so people wouldn't worry about me. Is this what it feels like to be on Broadway doing ten shows a week?
Having an income was a necessity, not a choice - so pretending to be together enough to keep, let alone excel at my job required extreme focus.
I got pregnant again, so that means I should be happy, or at the very least, less sad? Dare I say, by some standards this was encouraging because it meant I was "moving on" (by the way, this is totally gross and completely insensitive).
Having to adjust to a new life after the one I'd grown to love had suddenly taken a hard turn was well, hard. It's through the awkward, angering, sad, daunting and yes, sometimes hopeful experiences, that I've gained a new perspective on human interaction, finding connections and embracing some serious dark humor. Because sometimes when the tears run dry, all that's left to do is laugh (if only for a moment).
Let's just say people would be lucky to get shmeared with my sadness!
In fact I think it's healthy and I encourage it. But what does sadness look like? Tears? Definitely.
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I'm obsessed with . . .
Writing about what's on my heart, sharing it with my corner of the internet and then going into hiding (I'm working on hiding less frequently than every time).
for daily self care
Any documentary and I'm a sucker for true crime (no better way to feel really good about how I turned out).
binging on netflix
Hooded sweatshirts & sweatpants ("business casual"), flip flops, tea, at home workouts, awkward humor.
can't live without
tv
or
movies
mountains
or
beach
early bird
or
night owl
going out
or
staying home
Make a guess. I love . . .
get to know me
If you don't feel like talking about it, I get it and I got you. Find encouragement and read at your own pace.
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Nothing like hearing about someone else's hard stuff to get your mind off of your own. Or my biggest hope, that you'll identify with something in these pages which will help you through yours.