When our loved ones pass away it’s not uncommon to see them again – in nature, a favorite song, or a brilliant memory. The white butterflies that float through our yard while we’re playing – Chase. The blue jays that perch on our swing set and eat the bird seed – my mother-in-law. My latest obsession with hummingbirds…hands down, my friend Barb.

I wrote this upcoming snippet several months back when the memory was still fresh. I’m seeing and feeling a lot this week, so I thought I’d share. Please use this as encouragement. 

If it’s been quiet for you lately, it won’t always be that way. If you’re wondering if you’re stretching to try to make the signs fit – you’re not. Some moments (or birds) are truly showing up just for you. Here we go:

It had been coming up on my social media feed for months that John Edwards (the Medium, not the politician) was going to be coming to San Luis Obispo in January of 2025.  I had seen him years earlier with my moms group and he actually ended up picking us out of the audience for a group reading. It was what my heart needed at the time and it is still one of my most memorable experiences. The words. The company. The emotions.

I was really interested in going again. Most importantly, I was interested because I wanted a reading for my husband, Marcus. I wanted him to be able to have an experience like I did. Chase is his son too and not only that, we’d lost his mom, Linda, ten months earlier. Let me take that back, I didn’t want this for him, I felt it in my being that he needed this. The newfound grief, responsibility, stress and heartbreak was just so heavy. I don’t care if he was forty-six – he still needed his mom.

But if we were going to go to the reading, I didn’t want it to be as observers. We’d gone to see several Mediums over the years, and while it’s true what people say, even if you don’t get a reading you leave with greater perspective from hearing others, I was still feeling selfish. So how was I going to know that Marcus’s chances were higher that he’d have a reading?

I needed a sign.

I had finished an internet friend’s book a few months earlier (Confessions of Child Loss, by Emily Graham – highly recommend). In it, she tells the story of asking for a specific sign from her son, Cameron. Don’t be generic in the ask, be specific. In the book I believe she asked for a purple dinosaur. Yup, specific. So, with a week left to go before John Edwards was coming to town and tickets still available for purchase online, I put my sign request out into the universe. If I’m supposed to bring Marcus to the event, bring me…a sloth. I debated picking a color for the sloth, but I don’t come across many sloths on a day to day basis, so I stuck with simple.

The day after I wished a sloth into my life, we took the kids to their first drive-in movie, to see Mufasa (highly recommend this one too – the movie and the drive-in). Every time there was a scene with all of the jungle animals in it, I felt a mix of thoughts. If I didn’t see a sloth immediately I’d be thinking “There’s gotta be a sloth in there somewhere”, or if one was to present itself, maybe I’d be thinking “Dang it, I made the ask too easy. Pick an animal and then a day later go to an animal movie.” That’s not a sign, that’s cheating.

But, with two hours of lion pride and a pack of red vines behind me, still no sloth. Yup – Dang it.

Another few days went by and I was still waiting. The show was on Tuesday and so by the Saturday before, I was starting to prepare myself that this wasn’t going to happen. With only a few days left until the show, I needed a sloth, to purchase tickets and to ask my parents if they could watch the kids. I was feeling deflated, but also starting to think, if the answer is no, that we shouldn’t go, then I should be grateful we’re not wasting our time.

Then it happened.

On Saturday night, laying in bed with just the light of my phone, mindlessly scrolling Instagram (I’m not always a woman of purpose), I came across actor Zac Braff’s recent post. I don’t even follow him but algorithms told me I should because he just adopted a cute dog. And the algorithms know I’m a sucker for cute puppies.

“…I have officially foster failed. And Penny, as Chunk says to Sloth in The Goonies, you’re going to live with me now. Okay?…”

As my finger took a swipe to go to the next video, my eyes widened and I scrolled back to Zac. What did he just say?!

I started to get the biggest smile on my face. Was that my sloth? It wasn’t what I expected, but I love The Goonies so much, this was perfect and hilarious. Well played Linda (my mother-in-law), well played. All the things I’d wish a sign to be. Cute, surprising, clever, meant just for me. And just like that we were going to John Edwards! And yes, with hundreds in the audience, he picked a reading with my husband. 

And it.was.magical.